


Trying Times.

by ScrollPerfecter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bromance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Romance, Slow Burn, Stalker Background Character, VERY VERY VERY slow burn, eventual action
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrollPerfecter/pseuds/ScrollPerfecter
Summary: You are broken, defeated and demoralized until an old friend helps you out.
Relationships: A bit of James "Bucky" Barnes flirting with Steve's approval if you squint, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	1. What should have been.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hope you enjoy, going to be a fairly slow burn, but I love those guys so...
> 
> Suffice it to say, characters are NOT mine and neither is the world they live in. I'm receiving no money and do not intend to make any from this.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and checked yourself in the mirror of your shared apartment, you smoothed down your pencil skirt, checked the soles of your heels and tucked a piece of your freshly washed and curled hair behind your ear, it wasn't an everyday occurrence that was for sure but it was imperative that you looked your best considering it was your first job interview in three months, you'd been surviving off student food, noodles were a lifesaver for you.

The bus ride was not particularly pleasant, you were met with leers and lewd comments from guys who didn't understand that yes in this day and age some people still wore skirts, although to be fair you only wore it because your trousers were in the laundry, you tapped your heel on the bus floor and put your earphones in and head down, you really didn't want to have to communicate right now although you knew you should have been paying attention to your surroundings. 

You had got to the interview in one piece, it was run of the mill, although you didn't like the way your possible future employer was eyeing you, it was a cross between contempt and thinly veiled lust. 

Grabbing a coffee on the way home, you cursed under your breath as it started to rain, you only had a blazer with you but nevertheless you pulled the collar to cover your head as a makeshift hood, you wanted to catch the next bus, so you ran, that was not a good idea in this weather, your heels clicked and snagged on a loose paving stone and you almost went flying if it weren't for a strong pair of hands that had managed to save you from a broken nose and a busted lip, you went to say thank you to your savior but they were already gone, you took a glance around in all directions but admitted defeat as your bus pulled into its stop.

You continued on with your day as normal, but you kept fretting about your mysterious savior, you ate your pizza and watched a movie, your phone barely buzzed all night, but every time it did, you had this strange thought that it might be them, of course you knew that was ludicrous considering they almost certainly didn't have your number but if they did... you weren't sure what that implied. 

The TV was blaring as you were wrapped in a blanket after having taken a shower and changed into your pink fluffy unicorn onesie, the one that you never told anyone about otherwise your dream of being a professional anything may be scuppered. 

But it was your one luxury, a birthday present from your dad, you sure as hell weren't about to give it up, even if you did thank him but say you could make your own way in the world, you were starting to doubt that sentiment, adulting was harder than you had thought.

You flicked channels, you didn't have a streaming service because you were completely broke, you thrifted most things and your cousin lent you most of her old things, thank goodness she was your size more or less, nothing was on the TV until you flicked to the news, there with a microphone thrust to his mouth and face with golden halo of hair - you might have a thing for blonds - was Captain America, Steve Rogers beaming at the interviewer, that was Steve all right, he would always focus on the things other people deemed less important, most people would have cared more for the spotlight than anything else. 

You smiled as you watched him, you had met him once before at a fundraiser when you were younger, you were there with your family, a distant relative had ran a marathon for charity or something and Steve Rogers was handing out smiles and awards, he was sweet, even at the gala after, he smiled and let people take pictures with him, you can already remember how fast your heart was beating when your hand held his as he shook it and spoke to you about your future plans, you had a teenage crush on him after that but who didn't?!

Years later and here he was still that kind soul, but there was a weariness in his features, in the dimmed light of his eyes, it made you sad, you wondered if his life had taken a wrong turn somewhere, maybe a broken relationship or a falling out with someone, he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, but then again who were you to judge, he'd probably say the same about you if he weren't so nice. 

You had told him on that day about your plan to be a doctor, you wanted to help people, you also told him that failing that you were sure to be an author or an actress, someone who can entertain people, make them feel better, he grinned from ear to ear and told you that you would make it, just work hard but the bitterness inside you now, creeping up sometimes laughs at such a silly naïve notion that he had, no you hadn't made it, your big plans had so far turned into a whole big pile of nothing, you chastised yourself for being a miserable shit and turned the TV off.

A few weeks passed without another incident, you got the job, thank goodness but then again your boss was the biggest poon hound within 100 miles of you, you felt sick to your stomach about having to work for him but it was that or starve to death, literally, you were down to your last $5 on the day you received the call. 


	2. Intruder Alert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, in this chapter there is mention of fictional sexual harassment I do NOT condone any such acts but it's part of the narrative and characterization of this story hence why I had to write it, but I reiterate that I do NOT condone it nor do I abide such acts.

At first you wondered how you had got the job considering it was your last ditch attempt, you didn't exactly fit the mold, your qualifications were only vaguely similar to those needed for your new job, but after a few weeks of not particularly laborious work - you got to sit around and make coffee a lot but boy did that get old - you realized that yep your boss was a cretin.

As you had predicted he spent most of his days staring at you with a look that sent shivers down your spine and not in a good way. 

It had just gone half five in the morning when you were rudely interrupted by the alarm on your phone going off, the obnoxious noise blared into the room as you thrust your hand towards your end table to turn it off instead you ended up banging your hand off of said end table, you cursed under your breath.

Then suddenly the room went eerily silent, it had turned itself off but...too soon, you looked at your phone and realized it hadn't been your alarm at all but a private call, you sat there on the edge of your pink duvet covered bed and just held your phone in both hands, just staring for a good ten minutes, willing it to ring again, scared but intrigued simultaneously.

The call didn't come, but at least it got you up a little earlier than usual, you'd have more time to go through important paperwork, except you didn't, you just showered and watched your favorite TV show, you really didn't want to go to work. 

The day was proceeding the same as yesterday other than the call, your boss was a douche, Emily, one of your co-workers was also a douche, you were really doubting your life choices on the bus ride home, you really just wanted a coffee and to binge watch your shows, but you had to wait until payday before you could even think of buying said coffee. 

Getting home, you climbed the stairs to your apartment door and almost tripped again, you swore you were one of the clumsiest people to exist, cursing under your breath, you entered your apartment, you took a moment to untie your hair, as you threw the elastic onto the kitchen counter - you had a combined kitchen and drawing room - you heard a shuffling from behind your bedroom door and your heart started to race, your breath hitched, you couldn't move, you were stock-still in shock, it was just then that you realized that you'd locked the door before you set off to work, but when you came back it had opened with no impediment. 

You fumbled quickly in your purse for your phone and ducked behind the kitchen counter, your palms were sweating as you swiped your screen up, hands shaking so much, you could barely make contact with the screen, at first you were going to call a friend or your roommate who was on holiday and not the cops, the nearest department was ages away and you weren't sure if anyone was even in your room. 

Your fingers were hovering over the numbers, but then you peeked over the counter and saw your bedroom door handle move down, you were freaking out now, really, your breathing was erratic even when you tried to steady it and then your door opened and out stepped a shadowy figure, sauntering as if he owned the place. 

You ducked down behind the counter, if he had seen you he had given no indication, maybe it was a friend of your roommate's, that would explain why he seemingly had a key, maybe he was in the wrong apartment, you were trying to rationalize it, this couldn't happen to you, you never got into trouble before, you clutched one hand to your mouth, the other to your chest, your breathing was getting louder and it seemed like your heartbeat was too.

His confident footsteps, as though the person didn't care, were all you could hear, you quickly took a steadying breath in and then out slowly, you needed to call the police but the house invader was right there. 

You saw his feet and his Derby shoes, he wasn't some transient from the street.

He was coming closer, you were right behind the kitchen counter that jutted out from next to your front door, he was sure to see you if he went out that way again, but he didn't go that way, he turned and he had the audacity to sit on your sofa and turn on your TV, you almost let out a sigh of relief but managed to keep it in. 

He then did something that almost made you sick but you didn't dwell on it - you couldn't, your head had to be in the game, one slip up and he could hurt you - the mousy haired man pulled something from him pocket, it was a pair of your panties, he put them to his nose and sniffed them as he opened his fly and thrust his hand down his trousers, you felt sick but you bit your inner cheek to keep from making any noises, you knew deep down that this was an opportunity but you hated to think it, you waited until the slick sound of him fisting his cock and his moans were getting louder and you took off your noisy shoes and when he was face deep in your pink panties, you blindly reached behind you for the door handle, when you felt it yield to your grip, you quick turned out of there.

The door clicked shut behind you and you ran from the building, your instincts taking over you, once you were outside you quickly called the cops. 


	3. Chasing Shadows.

You'd been sitting on the step of the neighboring apartment building when the police had arrived, you didn't want to be on your step in case the intruder came out and attacked you, but you also wanted to able to watch for him in plain sight, just to know if he did indeed just saunter in through the front, you also wanted to get another look at his face, it had all been an adrenaline filled blur.

Sighing you lamented what a terrible time in life it was for you, everything was getting progressively worse every day but it couldn't get any lower could it?!

"Ma'am, I'm sorry but we found no intruder, do you think you may have unlocked the door and perhaps imagined the rest, are you on any anti-anxiety medication?" the balding man took off his hat, he rested his left arm on the steps railing.

You didn't think he meant to be condescending but you could felt your rage bubbling over, he thought you were imagining it all, you couldn't help yourself you scoffed and shook your head, anger taking over, "Well if I wasn't on meds before I sure will be after this, don't tell me you're not gonna' follow up on this?" you'd been thinking that ever since he came over, that he was going to brush you off, he had that kind of expression, fake sympathy.

He just tutted and shook his head, "Listen lady, we get a lot of cases, this is not about you, this is about us, we just don't have the resources to investigate shadows in a city as big as this, so do me a favor and be honest, was this an attention thing?" 

You stared at him incredulously and you felt like you'd been gutted, you knew this wasn't going to go well but you just screamed at him, "No! You think I'm some kinda' psycho, is that it? I'm the one to blame because some fuckin' freak was in my apartment!" you only felt better for a moment, guilt was gnawing away at you, you didn't mean to snap, he was just doing his job, what if you had been imagining it after all.

Sitting back on the step, tears roll down your cheeks as you laid your head in your hands, wracked with sobs you look up at the officer, he looked flummoxed, he sighed and shook his head one last time and walked away, but in his place another officer arrived, she'd been checking out the scene when you'd last seen her, the woman spoke to you.

"Hey ma'am, did Officer Vaughan upset you? he can be a little - well he's not too good with people, he doesn't mean any harm though." Looking at her, you noticed she was holding out a tissue, you graciously accepted and attempted to dab at your bloodshot eyes. 

You didn't say anything, you didn't think you could, your throat was sore from the screaming and crying, she handed you a bottle of water and made to sit next to you on the step.

"I'm Officer Ursula Lee Hernández, I'm sorry for what you had to go through but we do need to talk to you, you could make a statement back at the station, but it's all up to you." 

There was silence still, you felt so rude but you were trying to calm your shaking hands and palpating heart, you looked at her big brown eyes, they seemed kind and gave her a weak smile.

She smiled back and took the lead in the conversation, she seemingly understood that you were still trying to find the words to convey your predicament.

"Did Burt - Officer Vaughan, tell you that we didn't find anyone in your apartment?" you nodded your head, you felt like a child, you couldn't seem to think properly, "Well we're currently searching the perimeter of the building, the door was unlocked, you didn't unlock it at all?" unlike Officer Vaughan you didn't feel mad at Officer Hernández for asking, she seemed to just be covering bases rather than accusing. 

Taking a drink from your water, you finally managed an answer, "No, I locked it before I went out and when I came back it was unlocked. I did see him, he had mousy hair and he had these shiny shoes." Shrinking back into yourself, you feel silly, it was New York, if all the info you had was shiny shoes and mousy hair, well you just weren't sure it was enough.

"Sorry for wasting your time Officer." You sighed defeated, your leg was jiggling nervously and you held onto the warming bottle of water as though your life depended on it. 

She looked at you with sympathetic eyes, "Hey, hey, don't be like that, we're gonna' catch this creep, if it's any consolation I believe you so far, it's just that's a big city but hey, look I don't usually do this, I'm not really supposed to but here's my card, it's my number, personal I mean, call me if you hear or see anything again."

You just stared into her eyes dumbly in shock, it was such a risk but a kind risk that she was taking for you, you didn't believe it but took the held out card from her long fingers. 

"What's the catch?" you had to ask, she couldn't just be being nice could she?! perhaps there were still good people in this city, as you mulled over her offer, you suddenly had a flash in your mind of a wide white smile and golden hair, yeah there definitely were still good people.

You thanked her and shook her hand, you wanted to try and show her as much respect as you could, but you almost couldn't believe it, any of it.

"No catch Ma'am, I just want to help clean this city up and I have a hunch that this creep has probably done this before to other people and I - " just as she was about to elaborate, a younger officer came running up, he was panting as he said "Hey, sorry but we found something." He gave you a soft look as he held his thighs bent halfway over trying to regain his breath.


	4. A Reprieve.

It'd had been half an hour since the rookie had ran over to you and the officer, he told you that they'd found something. 

You were wracked with nerves, but when they told you what they'd found, it made you feel violated and culminated in you actually being sick right then and there on the side of the street as Officer Hernández kindly held your hair out of your face. 

Your used panties had been found in your living/kitchen area on the window ledge, it looked as though the pervert had escaped via that way, you weren't exactly sure how no one had noticed before but the window had been shut behind said pervert it seemed. 

The thought of someone violating your safe space made you shake almost uncontrollably, you didn't know what to do, you were actually thinking of packing up and leaving the city, you couldn't live with your parents, they'd adopted and all their time and resources went on baby Joe, you didn't mind, you loved Joe but you were in dire need right now, needed to get the hell outta' dodge.

"So you're a single female living alone?" Officer Vaughen had come back to you, you nodded but then your stomach dropped, Tiffany, you'd almost forgotten about your roommate, you had no idea how to tell her about what had happened, you felt guilty that you'd only just remembered. 

Shaking your head "No, no, sorry my roommate, I uhm, she's been on holiday with her family for awhile, I'm sorry, I think I was just so scared that I forgot, I haven't told her yet, can I call her?" you rushed out all the words so fast that they were almost incomprehensible.

"Go ahead, we've done all we can do here for now, you should think about finding somewhere safe to say, a hotel perhaps." And just like that he was gone and not too long after only Officer Hernández remained, she lingered while you called Tiffany.

"Tiffany c'mon pickup, come on." You shifted you weight from foot to foot and when Tiffany finally picked you sat down on your neighbors step, "Hey how's it going?" Her high pitched voice rang out through the almost worn out cell, you took a deep breath in and exhaled as you clued her in on the situation.

After a good thirty seconds of silence from the other end you thought about just hanging up until, "Shit, fuck, shit." You could have laughed if you weren't so scared...angry...sad, what were you exactly?! 

"Just breathe Tiff, that's all we can both do right now." You looked towards the dark eyed officer hovering near you to the right, "There are good people here, people who try their best." Officer Hernández had given you a new sense of hope.

The call ended not long after with Tiffany saying she would come back as soon as possible and even offering to transfer some money for you to get somewhere cheap to sleep for the night.

"I'm sorry we can't do more right now but we can probably run a DNA test on the evidence." Hernández put a hand on your shoulder as she said it, "Again I'm sorry we're just so low on resources and time. Anyway what are you gonna' do, family, friends, B&B?" There was pity in the creases next to her eyes, the furrow in her brow, she was young but she was obviously tired.

"B&B most likely, family are busy with my brother Joe I'd hate to wreck everything for them, don't wanna' bring this shit back to them." You could tell you she wanted to voice her opinion but she was tactful just nodded her head and bit her lip as she listened to you.

By the end of the day you'd taken some of your things that you needed from your apartment along with Officer Hernández's help, you found the prospect of going back in their alone tonight terrifying, you held your little bag of office clothes and regular, three pairs of shoes, you weren't sure why but you insisted on taking your unicorn onesie.

She'd laughed good-naturedly when you picked it up and so did you, "Let's keep this between you, me and my dad." It was a brief reprieve from the dismal day, you'd found a B&B for around $60, Ursula - as she insisted you call her when she was off duty - had been happy for you for finding one so cheap, you didn't tell her that for you that may as well been a $1000, you were still barely making rent.

Thank goodness for Ursula and Tiffany though, she'd sent you some money through and the former drove you there, you said your deep thanks and goodbyes and walked up the step, it looked like a townhouse, it was clean you noticed as you walked through the hall to the little room on the right where you were staying.

"Hope you enjoy your stay." The little old lady who owned the place said as she gave you a key, "Oh and it has color television, can you believe it?" You smiled at her thanking your lucky stars that she seemed nice albeit a bit oblivious but she had a right to be, she'd survived more shit than you had so far.

You put the key in the lock but she spoke again you inwardly cringed but thought she might just be lonely so you indulged her - who knows how lonely you'd be when you got to her age, you had to be better than those who turned away.

"Yes it was left to me by a strapping young man, comes here once in awhile to sit and chat with me - to be honest with you I think he's a bit lonely but he's a real old-fashioned gent, he gifted me that lovely television although the guests could use it more than I can, eyesight's not what it was...it was those war flicks yes, his grandpa was in those you know?!" 

"Sorry? what war flicks, whose grandpa?" You were thoroughly confused as you turned the lock and opened the door - it was nice, old fashioned but nice, "The lad who gave me the television silly, his grandpa was famous back in the day, Steve Rogers." She beamed up at you, "Oh wow...you do know he's the actual same Steve Roger's don't you? He's not his grandson."

"Oh don't be so silly dear, he just has the same name and looks like his grandpa, don't think he looks as tall though...you're one of those fantasists I can tell, don't worry I was back in the day, loved myself a fairytale...couldn't wait to meet my Prince Charming." 

"And did you?" You cringed at your presumptuous tone, so quickly added, "If you don't mind me asking." 

"I did." Your saw a flash of pain in her hazel eyes and wish you hadn't asked "I'm sorry."

"Oh don't be dear, just make sure you keep a firm grip on love when you have it, don't let it float away in dreams and nightmares. Goodnight dear, tell me if you need anything." 


	5. Rewinding into forward.

You listlessly flicked through the channels trying to focus on anything but your thoughts, eventually you had to call it quits and left the TV on low for background noise, stretching on the paisley patterned comforter you looked up at the off white ceiling wondering what the hell you were going to do with your life, it seemed like the world was on fast forward and you were on pause, actually more like rewind, you felt...oddly out of time and place.

Sighing you decided to take a nap then a hot shower, you changed into your PJs and slid beneath the covers, it had been an awful day, you rubbed a hand over your face as every time you closed your eyes the image of the man who tainted your apartment flashed into your mind as clear as day, the horrible slick sounds filled your ears, mousy hair and shiny shoes made you shudder.

Opening your eyes you got up and decided a quick shower was needed, you found the bathroom pretty quickly and turned on the shower, you stepped into the combined bath shower and waited for the pipes to catch up to you, water sprayed in uneven pulses around you and you stepped back, you sighed but it eventually stabilized after some tears of frustration, great you were crying over a shower but you knew you were just overwhelmed by the day.

You beat your hands against the cold wet tiles as you cried, you didn't know how long you were crying eventually you just stood there under the hot spray trying to clean away the day, you took a deep breath being careful to mind the steam and exhaled it after a few seconds, it wouldn't do to get worked up right now not when you were on your own, you tried to think happy thoughts, that's what your ma had told you years back, happy thoughts for sad times. 

Repeating it like a mantra you considered calling her but if you did it would have to be further down the line, you didn't want to worry her but the thought occurred that she'd want to know, it was too confusing for you, all you wanted was a simple but happy life, a modest apartment, a stable job, a partner and maybe even a kid or two down the line and if you were really pushing it, a dog or cat would've been nice too.

But you were stuck here stuck in an old fashioned B&B having been run out of your crappy shoebox apartment, a dead end job, no one to come home to when Tiffany was on vacation but even then she was busy most days and night alternating jobs, you didn't even want to think about the rest, you slide to the floor of the tub and felt the stream pelting your back rocking back and forth.

A knock shook you from your brooding, "Are you alright in there? Because I'm bursting to go so could you hurry it up a bit dear? And the downstairs toilet is broken again." You chastised yourself for forgetting the B&B only had an upstairs bathroom off the hall and one downstairs, you ran a hand down your face, "Okay, I'm fine, coming out now." 

You hastily turned everything off apart from the light and wrapped yourself in a towel, you opened the door and the lady practically ran in, she could move for an older person, you felt yourself smiling despite yourself as you made your way back to your room, looking at the clock was a mistake and you groaned, it was three in the morning, your sleep schedule was going to be wrecked.

The rest of the night was eventless, although the pain in your hands threatened to kick up a fuss by the time you got back to bed you were too emotionally and physically exhausted to care and fell asleep straight away.

But it was a restless sleep, you knew that as soon as you opened your eyes and the nightmares emblazoned themselves behind them at the forefront on your mind, the residual images made you wretch but you tried not to, the crick in your neck attested to your lack of true rest, you had been tossing and turning, you thought it couldn't get worse but sleeping with damp hair had made you groggy.

You hated your life and lamented the fact when you went downstairs for breakfast only to look at the clock in the kitchen and find it displaying the wrong time, it was lunch time, you heard the telltale humming of the elderly women as she made her way in, "Hey is that clock right? I mean I checked my phone and I don't want to believe but..." 

She barely considered you as she turned her back and tutted and opened the fridge door, "Oh yes, you were out quite awhile dear and that's why you shouldn't stay awake having showers after midnight, who does that? Anyway what would you like for lunch, we have tuna mayo and uh...not much else, need to go shopping" She gave a little laugh and you felt a bit better.

"I could fetch something from the store for you if you want? I think I might need a walk." Your heart started to beat faster at the prospect, your nerves starting to rise but you felt if you didn't get out you might start letting that incident rule your life...but it was still so hard, you were regretting you'd offered when she spoke.

"No don't worry dear, I have a friend or two who could help, don't you worry about it, you're a guest but thank you." She poured you a glass of water as she hummed, her presence was calming and then you realized you'd been so frazzled yesterday that you didn't even know her name, you set out to rectify that. 

"Oh it's Gertie Johnson, just call me Gert or my nickname back in the day." Gert started on your sandwich, "Which was?" You pressed, "What was? What was what?" 

"Your nickname...back in the day." Gert gave a huge guffaw that came out of nowhere and you nearly choked on your water, "Careful dear, it was - what was it? - Oh it was Good Ol' Gertie, Gertie flirty and my personal favorite Good-Time Gert." She winked at you and you held your belly as you laughed.

You spoke for an hour as you finished your sandwiches and the conversation took a dour turn as you relayed why you were there in the first place, she put a hand on yours and gave it a pat, "These things are sent to test us sweetheart, don't let yourself drown in the deluge."

Choking back a sob you looked into her eyes, the gentle understanding in them made you want to hug her, "I just feel so pathetic Gert, your generation went through so much and I can't even cope with a break-in, my life hasn't been any good since that gala when I was a teen." You wrapped your arms around yourself and she slung one of hers around your shoulder. 

"Dear, you have to do what we did back then, just keep on fighting, it's all we can do in this life, keep fighting for a brighter future, I'm glad you didn't had to face what we had to back in the day but that doesn't mean that your problems ain't as much a problem as ours were, problems are problems, it's how we deal with them that matters." You leaned your head on her shoulder, "Tell you what, why don't I get on the telephone and ring my friend, he'll get my shopping in for me and we'll treat ourselves to a nice gateau." 


	6. Second Time's A Charm.

Gert called her friend and switched on the TV, she'd read in a magazine that one of her old favorites was on and she's asked you to join her for it, you'd always thought her eyes were too bad for TV but apparently it was only large TV's she didn't like, said they made them sore, she made her way back to you, you'd both decided to watch it in the living room as no one would disturb you.

"Gert am I your only guest?" you'd asked her at lunch and she'd smiled broadly, "This is more of a hobby dear, I've enough money to tide me over." You'd tried to convince her to let you help advertise but she was wary of the city folk, apart from Steve Rogers apparently.

You switched to the correct channel and waited for movie watching Gert set down a cup of tea on the coffee table, she sat next to you and the before you knew it you were chatting away like old friends, you felt your heart swell with fondness, you were going to miss her when you got back to your apartment you visibly shuddered at the thought.

"What's wrong dear, cold?" You nodded, she didn't need to know that you were terrified of thinking more than five minutes ahead right now. 

"Oh isn't he handsome? I tell you Steve looks just like his grandpa." She pointed a stubby finger at the screen, you shook your head you couldn't convince her they were actually the same person though you'd tried many times, "Yeah sure does." You'd decided to let her have her own way and just agree with her. 

"Don't ya' think he's a looker?" Her hazel eyes crinkled with happiness as she looked at you, "Yeah sure Gert he's a...peach." In truth you could feel your cheeks heating up as you watched him in that silly proto Captain America outfit, his current Cap outfit was much better, you would knew because you may have searched for images of him from time to time but you didn't think you had a crush. 

"Oh hush, you think he's a dreamboat too, you're blushin' like a schoolgirl." You couldn't help but smile but tried to hide it beneath a cough, "Gert, I do not have a crush on Steve Rogers." You leaned back defensively but perhaps a bit too far and almost fell over the arm of the sofa, "Careful dear...and you definitely do, if you met him in person you'd understand."

"I actually have met him...once, he was really sweet to be honest, made me feel like I could accomplish anything even though I ended up being a disappointment to everyone, my family, friends...even him." Your voice was a cracked whisper by the end and Gert put an arm around you, "You still can, although I think you met Jr. because I was talkin' about his grandpa." You groaned but didn't bring it up again.

You were about to ask how she met ' _Jr._ ' but the bell rang and you ran to answer it, "S'okay if I get it for you Gert?" You called, "Thank you dear, my knees need a break anyway."

"Alright, alright, I'm coming." You opened the heavy front door, "Hi Ger-." Steve Rogers stood in front of you holding bags of groceries and you were gaping like fish, his hair was as gold as years back, his mouth was open too but he swiftly smiled at you and you thought your heart had stopped, it was that megawatt smile.

"Steve Rogers." Was all you could gasp out as the wind whipped both of your hair and he laughed and you couldn't seem to form a sentence, "Uh wh - how - what are you doing here?" 

He cleared his throat and spoke, "Seems like we have a mutual friend, Gert asked me to pick some shopping," He awkwardly lifted the bags to show you and you couldn't help but smile at his cute expression, you took a deep breath in and a long one out, "Should I just leave the bags with you or can I come in?" 

"Uh yeah sorry, just didn't expect to see _you_ here." You hid your shaky hand behind your back and moved out the way so he could come through, you grimaced when you realized how weird you were being, so you tried to not think about the stirring in your stomach or the hitch in your breath, "I'm sorry, I must sound so rude, I just wow." YOu looked at your feet, _'shit, shit, shit'_.

"Don't worry about ma'am, I'm used to people being a bit taken aback when they first meet me." Your stomach dropped, "That must be horrible, being treated like an oddity, you're not though, you're amazing." Inwardly cringing you just couldn't seem to act normal around him.

But he gave you that smile again and suddenly everything was okay, he carried the groceries through the hall to the drawing room but stopped just before, you'd been walking along side him and your arms had brushed his and you felt tingles, you muttered your apologies, "Ain't nothing to apologize for ma'am."

And your damn heart leapt again, you put your hand on your arm where it had brushed his without thinking and shit he must have noticed that, he grinned down at you and he was just as huge as years ago perhaps even bulkier and you felt a familiar warmth heading south within you, he kept glancing at you as he knocked the living room door, "Come in dears." Your face was almost scorching hot as you chanced a glance at his pouty lips, good enough to kiss, you shook the errant thoughts from your head.

He went to open the door and so did you and your fingers brushed, "Sorry!" You said a bit too quickly, "Hmmm when was it?" Steve scratched his chin as he considered you, you shied away from his gaze, he was sweet and handsome but you were suddenly shyer than you had been in years, "When was what?" Your voice was quiet, "I know we've met before but I just can't place you, sorry don't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

"The gala!" You were a bit too loud, "Sorry I mean there was a charity gala that my family was involved in years ago, I say involved in more like one of them just ran a marathon for something and we got an invite and...sorry." Why couldn't you stop talking at him.

"Oh yeah I remember about five or six years ago now? Was a nice event, I miss those." You didn't have chance to ask him what he meant before he addressed Gert, "I'm gonna' go put these in the kitchen Gert, that okay?" 

Her wizened voice came through the doorway, "Oh of course lad, take the girl with you, she'll help, won't you dear?!" Fighting with your nerves you nodded and made your way with him, your arm brushed his again and you felt dizzy just being near him, "Sorry." 

"You know you say sorry too much." Steve's smile was almost too much for you, you struggled to keep up with him at first but he noticed and slowed down, "Now I'm the one who should say sorry, I sometimes forget how many miles I can cover in a few short steps." You both laughed and chatted while putting away the groceries, you'd never thought you'd meet him again, you told him all about how he'd inspired you but hadn't told how you'd disappointed him yet, you weren't sure you ever would.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you and stay safe :)


End file.
